


I was Made for Lovin' you Baby

by happytreasure



Series: Three's a crowd four's a party [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Depression, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender-fluid Oikawa, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Matsuhanaiwaoi, Multi, Non-binary character, Other, Poly Relationship, Polyamory, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags updated as I write, Trans Character, Trans Hanamaki, Trans Male Character, i love these four so much, negative at points, so watch out, transphobic slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:03:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7801168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happytreasure/pseuds/happytreasure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime, Hanamaki Takahiro and Oikawa Tooru are starting their third year at Aobajosai High School. Throughout the year they learn more about themselves and each other then they had in the two years before.</p><p>aka these four nerds wrapped up in a whirlwind of emotions, college prep, volleyball and love.  Somehow everything turns out alright</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something's Wrong

"Makki! let me do your makeup!” Oikawa said, flinging himself across Hanamaki, who was sitting on the couch. 

"My makeup? Since when do you know how to do makeup?" Hanamaki questioned, his eyebrows rising. He crossed his arms, and Oikawa huffed.

"And how to braid hair! I do have a sister you know!” Oikawa’s tone clearly said ‘duh!’, and Makki’s eyebrows rose higher.

"Yah, but she was older. Why'd she make you do her makeup?"

 

"I was like her makeup test subject when I was little, and I got good at it. Eventually, I got better at it then her, and then she wanted me to start doing hers. I actually find it kind of therapeutic now." He explained.

 

"What? why haven't I heard of this? Show me!"

 

"Okay, okay, my sister left behind a lot of makeup. I'll go get it."

 

-

 

"Holy shit, Oikawa, this is a killer eyeliner." Hanamaki praised looking in the hand mirror. He turned his head left then right, admiring the setter’s handywork. He let out a low whistle.

"Told you," Oikawa sing-songed.“I'm good!"

 

"You are; you should be like a beauty vlogger or something."

 

Oikawa and Hanamaki both giggled. As the laughter slowly died down, Oikawa spoke from his perch on the bathroom counter.

 

"Y’know, Makki, I really admire you."  
Hanamaki looked up from the hand mirror where he was making silly faces at himself.

 

"For what? My dashing good looks or my irresistible personality?" Makki smirked.

"Hey, being aggressively over confident is my job!" Oikawa joked, tilting his chin high. "But it all seriousness, you're just so unapologetically yourself. Like, you don't let societal expectations keep you from doing what makes you happy. That’s so cool!"

 

"I mean it's not easy- being Trans and expressing myself outside of societal norms. I get discouraged a lot, but you and Mattsun and Iwa, you guys are so supportive." Hanamaki paused."And Tooru?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I found out the hard way that hiding and repressing who you are hurts a lot more than anything anyone else can say or do to you."

 

-

 

"Did you guys know Oikawa could do makeup?" Hanamaki asked during lunch at Matsukawa’s house one day. 

"Yes, I was Ai-chan's second makeup Guinea pig." Iwaizumi grumbled, not even looking up from his food.

"I didn't. How’d you know Hana?" Matsukawa questioned, his expression curious.

"Because he did my makeup! Look!" Hanamaki pushed his phone into Matsukawa's face. Mattsun hummed, wearing a fake puzzled look.

"Okay, but how do you look so good in makeup?" Mattsun was telling the absolute truth- it looked as if Makki was ethereal. Makki’s eyes were brought out my the dark lining, and the contouring made cheekbones stand out. His lips looked full, a beautiful magenta color. His cheeks were a fetching pink. Mattsun yanked the phone from its owner and showed Iwazumi, who was sitting next to him. 

"Makeup actually really suits you." Iwaizumi agreed, finally looking up.

"Ah, a compliment from the stoic Iwaizumi, my life is complete." Hanamaki gushed  
placing a hand over his chest dramatically.  
Despite his playful tone, he was faintly blushing.

"Guys, let's go to the bakery after lunch and get dessert!" Oikawa chimed in while taking a bite out of his lunch, wearing a pleased smirk.

“That’s actually a good idea and oikawa usually has terrible ideas,” Iwazumi said, resuming eating his food.

"Iwa-chan is so mean to me" oikawa pouted.

 

"I second this idea." Matsukawa added, throwing his legs over Iwaizumi’s lap

 

"I third this idea," Hanamaki agreed

 

"Okay, it's done!" Oikawa announced.

 

-

 

Hanamaki sat with his laptop on his chest and opened a skype group chat called:  
Seijou Third Years~

 

Hanamaki: guys ive literally been trying to take an ugly picture of oikawa for like 2 weeks

 

Hanamaki:  
[one image attached]

 

Hanamaki: this is as close as ive gotten

 

Oikawa: RUDE MAKKI-CHAN

 

Matsukawa: That’s not even a bad picture it's just blurry

 

Hanamaki: thats the point!!! I cant get a bad picture of him!!

 

Hanamaki: Iwaizumi!!! do you have any bad pictures of tooru

 

Iwaizumi: No, but I’m willing to join your cause.

 

Oikawa: EVEN RUDER IWA-CHAN!!!

 

Matsukawa: I'll join this cause too

 

Oikawa: MATTSUN HOW COULD YOU

 

Matsukawa: sorry tooru it's for a good cause

 

Oikawa: NO ITS REALLY NOT

 

-

 

Iwaizumi: What the fuck, shittykawa? I just took a picture of you while you were coughing, and you don’t look like shit

 

Iwaizumi  
[one image attached]

 

Hanamaki: HE ACTUALLY LOOKS PRETTY WHO THE FUCK DID YOU SELL YOUR SOUL TO?

 

Oikawa: no one? its just cus I caught him taking the photo 

 

Matsukawa: Excuse me but I look like a disaster while performing any bodily function- LIKE  
MOST HUMANS

 

Oikawa: maybe the cameras just love me(❁´◡`❁)

 

Iwaizumi: Or maybe you're just lucky. First one to get a bad picture of Oikawa gets a desert.

 

Oikawa:  
(.‿.)

 

-

 

Oikawa  
[one image attached]

 

Oikawa: me n Makki are in my pool n he brought the volleyball in(◕◡◕)

 

Matsukawa: Is Makki trying to hold that volleyball under water

 

Iwaizumi: He does know volleyballs float in water, right?

 

Hanamaki: WELL I DO NOW BECAUSE IT JUST POPPED OUT OF THE WATER AND HIT ME RIGHT IN THE LEFT BOOB

 

Matsukawa: R.i.p. makki’s left boob

 

Oikawa: #ripmakkisleftboob2k16

 

Oikawa: i was under the assumption we were gonna play pool volleyball but this works too

 

Hanamaki: IT DOESNT WORK FOR MY BOOb

 

Oikawa: Mattsun! Iwa! come over and play pool volleyball with us~  
✧*。ヾ(｡・ω・｡)ﾉﾞ✧*。

Matsukawa: I'm down

 

Iwaizumi: Sure. 

-

 

"Tooru look!"

 

"What, Makki-Chan?"

 

Hanamaki was perched on the diving board. 

"I’m gonna do a sick jump.”

"Ohhhh, I'm watching!" Makki ran forward, jumped, and flipped into the water, creating a large splash. Droplets rained down upon Oikawa.

"Whoo!" Oikawa clapped. "A solid 11! Extra points for your boob not slipping out like last time!"

“Listen, there was no need.”

-

"Mattsunnnnnn," Oikawa drawled out, straddling Matsukawa's lap who was on his bed.

"Wow, what a compromising position,” Matsukawa quipped

 

"Shush! hug me please!" Oikawa pouted, sticking his arms out.

"How could I refuse?" He replied wrapping his arms around Oikawa’s middle and lightly rocking him back and forth.

 

"You okay?"

 

Oikawa crawled off Matsukawa's lap and sprawled on his bed.

 

"I've been like upset for the past few days, which is weird because I've got like the three best friends ever and like everything is going well so I don't understand." Oikawa complained dragging his hands down his face.

 

"Maybe something is bothering you and you just don't know what it is?"

 

"You're right! I know what's bothering me now!"

 

"Really?" Matsukawa asked, surprised.  
"What is it?"

 

"You are not hugging me!"

 

Matsukawa chuckled before embracing Oikawa once again.

-

 

"Makki stop picking at your scab!" Iwaizumi chided.

"You can't stop me,” he replied, digging at the cut on his knee.

 

"It's gonna scar now." Iwaizumi pointed out, crossing his arms.

"Chicks dig scars." Iwaizumi chuckled, a small smile quirking his lips.

"So what do you want to do today?"

 

"Hmm lets go to the park. I wanna swing."

 

-

 

Hanamaki and Iwaizumi sat on the swings, rocking back and forth. Hanamaki closed his eyes as he picked up speed, the cool wind rushing through his hair. 

"Hajime?"

 

"Yeah?”

"Tell me a story.” Hanamaki requested.

"Why?"

 

"Because I wanna hear something happy, so tell me a happy story."

 

"Okay, so one time when Tooru and I were six- we had just watched all of the Disney princess movies, right- he was obsessed with Belle. It was all he'd talk about. We were little, so we played pretend all the time. We’d like take this expensive clock from his mom’s room and a candlestick from the kitchen and stuff like that. Whenever we played together he always wanted to be Belle."

 

"Who were you?"

 

"The beast, because ‘he’s mean and scary- just like you Iwa-Chan!" Iwaizumi said in his best Tooru impression, complete with the petulant expression and doe eyes. "He was always so happy,” Iwaizumi finished.

 

"Was?" Hanamaki asked.

 

"I think something has been bothering him for a while recently.”

"I can agree with you there. He’s been more mopey than usual- Should we try to talk to him?"

 

"Oikawa tends to close up when I pry. He’ll probably tell us on his own terms. I just really hope whatever is bothering him works itself out.”

-  
Oikawa: im going to the knee doctor today!!!

 

Matsukawa: Pretty sure it's not called a knee doctor

 

Oikawa: that's not the point

 

Hanamaki: what is the point 

 

Oikawa: that I hopefully get good news

 

Iwaizumi: I hope you do, too.

 

Oikawa: ah iwa-Chan I swoon

 

Iwaizumi: I take it back.

 

Oikawa: ily

 

Iwaizumi: I love you, too.

 

Hanamaki: look at those lovebirbs

 

Matsukawa: I ship it

 

Iwaizumi: Shut up.

-

Matsukawa: Tooru how'd the knee Doctor go 

 

Oikawa: ugh fine

 

Iwaizumi: Fine?

 

Oikawa: i need to start wearing a brace all the time during volleyball bc the muscle is still inflamed 

 

Matsukawa: That’s not too bad; school doesn't start for a few more weeks so neither does volleyball- you don't need to wear it till then yeah

 

Oikawa: yea I'm just not happy about it  
（°´д｀°）

 

Hanamaki: I hope it gets better Tooru  
( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)

-

It was three in the morning, but that didn’t make Oikawa any more tired. He continued to pace back and forth across his room, running his hands through his hair.

“Something’s wrong,” he whispered to himself.

He paced back and forth one more time before sitting down by his bed and placing his head between his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own any of these characters all rights pertaining them belong to the creators
> 
> tumblr - happytreasuree


	2. Revelation

Oikawa: takahiro

Hanamaki: yea

Hanamaki: y are u messaging me  
privately

Hanamaki: tooru?

Oikawa: howd you know

Hanamaki: how did I know what

Hanamaki: tooru????

Oikawa: never mind

-

Fitting 4 tall high schoolers onto a single couch was an olympic-level feat to be accomplished, but somehow Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Matsukawa and Hanamaki managed to make it work. Well, sort of- Oikawa, Iwaizumi, and Matsukawa sat on the couch with Hanamaki sprawled across their laps.

"Ugh," Hanamaki groaned over the sound of the TV.

"What's up, buttercup?" Matsukawa asked.

"I really don't want school to start back up," Hanamaki complained.

"I don't know. I think I'm looking forward to the structure it brings," Iwaizumi commented.

“Like I’ve been saying for the past 17 years, something’s wrong with you, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa quipped.

-

Hanamaki: ahhhhhhhhh

Oikawa:???

Hanamaki: thats me yellin

Matsukawa: Ok but why

Hanamaki: because school starts

Oikawa: ok but get this

Hanamaki: get what

Oikawa: when school starts so does volleyballᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Iwaizumi: He makes a valid point.

Matsukawa: Hey Tooru are you ready to be captain

Oikawa: im actually kinda nervous i got big shoes to fill

Iwaizumi : Hey, we'll be by your side through all of this, okay?

-

Hanamaki walked briskly down the sidewalk to meet up with Matsukawa, who lived all but a few doors down from his house. His knuckles rapped loudly on the wood, and a few moments later it sung open to reveal a recently-awoken Matsukawa.

"Good morning." Matsukawa yawned.

"No, bad morning; it's the first day of school," Hanamaki grumbled. Sensing Hanamaki might actually be upset about something, Matsukawa changed his tone. He motioned Makki inside and grabbed his shoulder gently, turning Makki to face him.

"Hey, you ok?" Mattsukawa’s eyebrows were furrowed in worry and his voice soft. Hanamaki sighed. 

"The reason I love summer so much is that I get to be around who I want. In school, I'm surrounded by a bunch of ignorant people who continue pick on me for being different."

"Hey, look at it this way: we have all our classes together except one. So, like, if anyone tries to mess with you I can totally beat them up." Hanamaki snorted and brushed off the idea, but he seemed to be in slightly better spirits.

“I think I'll be fine as long as you're by my side."

Matsukawa turned his head in order to hide his blush.

-

Iwaizumi: The first years are progressing nicely.

Matsukawa: Kindachi and Kinumi work well together

Oikawa: im so proud of my children

Hanamaki: oh yea oikawa this is a reminder to put some extra contacts in your bag

Matsukawa: I still can't believe you tried to practice without your contacts

Oikawa: go hard or go home amirite (ง •̀ゝ•́)ง

Iwaizumi: No, because the ball hit you in the face like five times.

-

Hanamaki: I GOT AN UGLY PICTURE OF TOORU

Oikawa: makki pls

Hanamaki:  
[one image attached]

Iwaizumi: Why does he look so fucking uncomfortable?

Matsukawa: Whose man is this

Oikawa: LISTEN A GIRL WAS CONFESSING TO ME AND I POLITELY TURNED HER DOWN BUT SHE STARTED CRYING ANS I DIDNT KNOW WAT TO DO OKAY

Hanamaki: tbh it was a ride from start to finish

Iwaizumi: What'd you do about the girl?

Oikawa: we dont need to discuss this any further

Hanamaki: HE JUST AWKWARDLY PATTED HER ON THE BACK AND SHUFFLED AWAY

Matsukawa: Iconic

-

Oikawa knew he had to get some extra practice in. He really wanted to crush Karasuno during their practice match, and even though his jump serve was coming along nicely, it was still a little inconsistent. Although... it was nothing a few extra reps couldn't cure.

Toss, jump, hit. He repeated the cycle over and over, eventually losing track of time. He'd been telling himself 'one more' for a while now, but he was so close-he could feel it. ‘Just a few more,’ he thought. He tossed the ball up again and jumped after it, chasing it as high as he could. When his hand made contact, he slammed down the ball with a ferocity that left his hand stinging and a loud thwack. The ball landed exactly where he wanted it with deadly speed and strength.

When his feet hit the ground, he landed unsteadily, accidentally landing on one foot rather than both. Pain shot up his leg and he quickly fell to his good knee, trying to relieve the throbbing. He slowly brought his leg out from under him, hissing in pain.He could see his knee starting swell, growing in size and becoming an awful, angry red. He hoped it was sprained or strained or anything, anything, anything rather than a tear. Tearing a muscle means surgery, and Oikawa Tooru doesn't not have time for surgery. 

A few more times he tried to stand up, but each and every time ended in failure. Each attempted brought him stumbling back to the ground as his knee made him cry out in pain.

-

Iwaizumi: Fuck we might have a problem.  
Iwaizumi: I already know the answer but is Tooru at either of your houses?

Matsukawa: No

Hanamaki: no is he ok

Iwaizumi: I went over to his house to study with him, and his mom said he never made it home. She thought he was at my house.

Hanamaki: shit is he at the gym again

Iwaizumi: I think so, but I called him like 10 times and he didn't answer.

Matsukawa: that's not good; come to my house and we'll go to the school from there.

-

Oikawa had to think rationally. His knee hurt, but it wasn't the worst pain he'd ever felt. Which was good, because that meant he’d probably only sprained it. The only problem was his knee no longer looked like a knee, because it was so badly swollen, and he couldn’t put weight on it. He couldn't walk, but maybe, just maybe, he could crawl to his bag. His phone was in it and it was only a few yards away. Oikawa flipped onto his stomach prepared to move, but before he could start his mission, the gym doors burst open.

"Tooru!" Iwaizumi yelled, racing forward with Matsukawa and Hanamaki on his heels when they saw the state he was in. "You dumbass! I told you to stop overworking yourself," Iwaizumi chided as he helped Oikawa roll onto his back. It wasn't until then that tears welled up in Oikawa’s eyes. and his throat felt constricted. His hand tremored slightly and he swallowed thickly before answering.

"I know, I know, I just really wanted to play my best in the practice match, and I'm so- I’m sorry Haji, I'm so, so sorry." Oikawa brought his hands up to cover his eyes as tears began to slide down his face. Soon, Oikawa began to sob, snot running from his nose, and body shaking with gasps and hiccups. Iwaizumi gently hushed Oikawa and kneeled down beside him.

"I know it's okay, Tooru, we’re gonna help you." Hanamaki and Matsukawa bent down in front of Oikawa alongside Iwaizumi.

"Tooru...how bad is it?" Hanamaki spoke, voice quiet and comforting.

"I think it's just strained or maybe it's a mild sprain? It's swollen really bad though,” Oikawa choked out.

"Can you walk?" Matsukawa asked. Oikawa shook his head.

"Alright, Issei, help me get him up, Takahiro call his mom please." Iwazumi took charge of the situation, wrapping his arms around Oikawa’s shoulders and waiting for Matsukawa to mimic him. Matsukawa crouched down and put Oikawa's left arm over his shoulder, while Hanamaki stood up and whipped out his phone, calling Oikawa’s mother. "We’ll lift him on three, okay? One, two, three, go."

They successfully lifted Oikawa off the ground, but he looked incredibly ill and like he was about ready to fall back down.

"Do you need me to carry you?" Iwaizumi asked. Before Oikawa could give an answer, his legs gave out. He would’ve fell if it wasn't for Matsukawa catching him."I'll take that as a yes. Okay, Tooru, I'm gonna lift you up under your knees, and if it hurts to much tell me." Iwaizumi informed, and Oikawa nodded his head absently. He gently lifted Oikawa into his arms, stopping when he heard Oikawa’s breath hitch  
.  
"I'm fine." Oikawa promised before burying his face in Iwaizumi’s neck, breathing eradicate but no longer heart-breaking sobs.

"His mom is here!" Hanamaki called from the gym doorway.

-

Oikawa: hey guys thanks for helping me yesterday

Iwaizumi: You don't need to thank us.

Hanamaki: ^ were ur friends Tooru wed do anything for you

Matsukawa: Yeah, we're here for you; What'd the doctor say

Oikawa: luckily its just a mild sprain but ill be out of practice for a few weeks,,I might not play in the practice match

Matsukawa: I'm sorry Tooru

Hanamaki: sending love your way ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Iwaizumi: I hope it's heals fast. We need our captain.

Matsukawa: Hold on, I'm gonna send a picture of my dog to cheer you up

Oikawa: I FEEL LIKE IVE BEEN BLESED

Matsukawa:  
[one image attached]

Oikawa: LUCKY IS SO CUTE(♡ω♡*)

Hanamaki: I LOV E LUCKY

Iwaizumi: I don't get it. He’s just laying there?

Matsukawa: Don't talk to me or my son ever again

-

Hanamaki woke suddenly to a persistent pinging noise. He rolled over in bed to see something hitting his window repeatedly, and he groaned. Groggily, he dragged his feet across the floor to look out the window. He saw Oikawa leaning down to pick up rocks, presumably to chuck them at his window. Hanamaki opened the window and leaned out.

"Tooru? Is that you?" Hanamaki whispered

"Yeah, can I come in?"

"Meet me at the back door."

Usually, Hanamaki would question why Oikawa was at his bedroom window in the middle of the night, but Oikawa sounded distressed and he’d rather question Oikawa inside.

Hanamaki tiptoed downstairs and quickly unlocked the back door before ushering Oikawa inside and up the stairs. Hanamaki spoke once they were safely inside his room.

"Tooru, what's wrong?" It was evident Oikawa had been crying, but Hanamaki decided not to comment on it. Instead, he grabbed Oikawa’s hand and squeezed tightly.

"How'd you know?" Oikawa asked quietly, his voice heavy. Hanamaki’s eyebrows furrowed and he pulled Oikawa to sit on the bed.

"How'd I know what?" Hanamaki replied, sitting down next to his friend after turning on a bedside lamp. He moved his hand to Oikawa’s back, rubbing in soothing circles. Oikawa refused to meet his eyes.

"That you were different?" He whispered so lowly that Hanamaki barely heard him. He pursed his lips. It might have taken him a moment, but he knew what Oikawa was asking.

"I think I've always known, ever since I was little. I refused to wear the dresses my mom tried to put me in and hated it when she tried to doll me up like a girl, but not everyone knows who they are that young." Oikawa brought a hand up to his mouth and began biting his nails. In the dim light, Hanamaki noticed Oikawa had bitten off all his nails. "Tooru, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

Oikawa put his head in his hands and mumbled, "Sometimes I don't like being a boy."

"Would you like to be a girl?" Hanamaki questioned, never stopping the circling motion he was doing with his hand.

"Yes, but sometimes I still like being a boy- but then sometimes I wish I was neither."

"Do you think you're maybe genderfluid?" Hanamaki tentatively asked.

"Yeah...but I don't want to be. It’ll be easier if I'm just a boy," Oikawa responded, voice desolate and shaky. Hanamaki grabbed Oikawa’s chin and tilted it so he was looking Makki straight in the eyes.

"You don't look like you are having a very easy time right now, Tooru. How long have you felt this way?"

"A few months." Hanamaki pulled Oikawa in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this alone; I wish you would told me sooner,” he whispered in Oikawa’s ear, voice suddenly sad. Oikawa pulled away to lean against him.

"I'm sorry." Oikawa whispered back, laying his head on Hanamaki’s shoulder.

"Shhh, you have nothing to be sorry about. Let's get under the covers; you’re sleeping here tonight, and we'll worry about parents in the morning."

Hanamaki and Oikawa curled up together in the bed facing each other. Hanamaki slowly ran his hands through Oikawa’s hair in a comforting gesture. He glanced up and locked eyes with Oikawa, who was smiling at him, and Makki gave a small smile back. Hanamaki wasn't sure who leaned forward first, but the next thing he knew his lips were pressed against Oikawa’s. It was a sweet chaste kiss, but it made butterflies storm in his stomach.

"I love you," Oikawa said quietly, voice soft.

"I love you too,” Hanamaki replied, voice just as quiet, and pulled Oikawa close to him.

Although there was a butterfly tornado residing in Hanamaki’s stomach-because he just kissed one of his crushes and was kind of freaking out-, he decided they both needed some sleep. They could always talk in the morning. Hanamaki settled for running his hands through Oikawa’s hair over and over again until he felt his breathing even out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gon try follow the 3rd year story line as closely as possible 
> 
> i hope you enjoy ty for the kudos
> 
> my tumblr- happytreasuree
> 
> big ty to dakota for being my beta


	3. Flirts n skirts

Oikawa woke early in the morning, which was unusual. He was confused at first; he was in a room that wasn't his, after all, but then the memories came flooding back. Did he really kiss one of his best friends and crushes last night or was it a dream? It seemed real. Very real. He had known for a while now that he was deeply in love with his three best friends, but he wasn't sure if all his friends were in love with him. They all shared a very close bond and none of them were straight, but Oikawa didn’t like to make assumptions. Even if last night's confessions weren't a dream, he wondered how Hanamaki would react. Before Oikawa could fall deeper into his thoughts, Hanamaki woke up.

"Tooru! Good morning!" Hanamaki said, rolling over and placing a kiss on Oikawa’s cheek.

Oikawa let out a breath he had been holding in. “ So, it wasn't a dream?"

Hanamaki chuckled. "Nope, but we'll talk about our relationship later. We never really discussed you last night."

Oikawa's stomach sunk. He already had regrets of telling Hanamaki. He had been so kind and accepting, but Oikawa didn't know if he was ready for a change.

"Hey, hey, we'll take this slow, okay?" Hanamaki reassured. "First off, do you wanna change your name or pronouns?"

"Uh, I don't know. I never really admitted it to myself until last night. I definitely don't want to change my name- I like Tooru."

Hanamaki smiled. “I do too. So, does being referred as 'he' or being called a boy ever bother you?"

"Yeah, sometimes it can really get under my skin, but other times I prefer it."

"What about being referred to with they pronouns?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." Oikawa admitted.

"What about 'she' and being called a girl?" Hanamaki asked a little more tentatively.

"I think I'd also like that, but 'Hiro I can't do that ever! What would Hajime and Issei think? I can't lose them." Oikawa began to fret.

"Tooru, I'm positive they'll accept you. Transitioning over pronouns always takes people a bit, but it's worth it, I promise."

"Does it get better, 'Hiro? This feeling that something's wrong?"

"It's called Dysphoria, and it always gets better Tooru. I don't think it ever goes away, but I used to be in a much worse place than I am now,” Hanamaki explained.

"I'm scared."

"I know, and it'll be hard, sometimes, finding yourself is difficult; I used to be so consumed by making people believe that I was really a boy that'd I wouldn't let myself do anything deemed 'feminine'."

"Well, I'm glad you stopped because you look really good in a skirt.” Oikawa gave him an almost leering grin. Hanamaki responded with a smile and a kiss on Oikawa’s lips.

-

Oikawa: makki i s2g if u send one more Pepe into the group chat

Hanamaki:[one image attached]

Oikawa: GOD DAMMIT MAKKI

Matsukawa:[one image attached]

Oikawa: NOT YOU TOO MATTSUN

Iwaizumi: What the fuck is going on?

[Matsukawa changed the conversation name to "meme loving fucks"]

Oikawa: DONT GROUP ME INTO THIS INSANITY  
   
-

"Ready for the mall?” Hanamaki asked. When there was no response, he called again,"Tooru?"  
   
When there was still no response, he walked out of the bathroom, only to find Oikawa sitting on the bed smiling fondly at his phone. Hanamaki walked closer and saw it was a snapchat video from Iwaizumi’s story. The video was of Matsukawa going across the monkey bars ,even though his feet were both flat on the ground. Iwaizumi could be heard jokingly cheering him on in the background. The next clip was of Matsukawa rolling a volleyball down the slide. Hanamaki’s eyes flicked back to Oikawa, who still had a gentle smile on his face.

"You're in love with them aren't you?" Hanamaki asked, though it was more of a statement than a question.

"What? Me! With who?" Oikawa babbled, almost as fast as the blush spreading down his face.

"Don't worry, I am too," Hanamaki said with a sly smile.

Oikawa sighed, putting down his phone. "It could never work. You know that, Makki."

"Well, Mattsun and Iwa are bi, and me and you are pan, the odds are in our favor."

"Yeah, but we don't know if they are interested in a poly relationship,” Oikawa pointed out.

"Have a little hope, Tooru."

"What about us Takahiro? Are we dating?"

"Well, I'd sure hope so."

-  
   
"Hey Tooru, wanna come try on dresses and skirts with me?"  
Oikawa bit the inside of his cheek, looking unsure. "It's okay if you aren’t ready!" Hanamaki assured.

"No, I think I need to come out of my comfort zone, but I don't know how to shop for those things,” Oikawa explained

"Just leave it to me, sweetheart!" Hanamaki said, lacing his fingers with Oikawa’s and dragging him in the store.

"Sweetheart!?"

-  
   
Hanamaki let out a low whistle at the sight of Oikawa. He was in a pink high-waisted skirt and a black crop-top that had "baby girl" printed across the front in sparkly, curlicue letters.

"Damn, Tooru, you can really work a skirt."

Oikawa rolled his eyes, cheeks reddening. "And you can really work a dress."

"I'm a slut for anything with floral pattern, to be honest." Hanamaki whipped out his phone. "Are you okay if I send a picture in the group chat?"

Oikawa took a second to think, before his face settled into a determined expression. “Yes, I'm okay with it. I might as well start dropping hints if I'm coming out soon."

-  
   
It was a nice day. The weather was just right, so Iwaizumi decided it'd be a perfect day to go to the park with a friend to hang out, maybe toss the volleyball around a bit. He decided Matsukawa would be that friend.

"You excited for the practice match?" Matsukawa said as he passed the ball to Iwaizumi.

"Yeah, but I think Tooru will be upset that he's not playing for most the game."

"Has he been keeping up with his physical therapy lately?”  
Matsukawa asked. “I can never get him to do it when I'm over."

"For the most part, yes, but I have to fight tooth and nail to get him to pick up the damn theraband."

"That’s good; I worry about him. Anyway, do you wanna grab some lunch after this?" Matsukawa suggested while spiking the ball to Iwaizumi who cleanly received it.

"Yeah, I’m getting kinda hungry.”

-

Matsukawa made an overly dramatic noise as he took a bite of his cheese-filled hamburger steak.  
"I think I'm in love," Matsukawa mumbled, taking another bite.

"If you love it so much, then maybe you should marry it," Iwaizumi teased.

"An amazing suggestion, Hajime, but I’d much rather marry you." Matsukawa said, putting his head in his hand.Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, but the blush on his cheeks was evident.

"So, what's the rest the gang doing today?" Matsukawa asked, changing the subject.

"The gang? Please don't call us the gang."

"I'm calling us the gang now."

Iwaizumi sighed. "Anyway, to answer your question, they're at the mall according to their snapchat stories."

-

Hanamaki:[one image attached]

Hanamaki: guess who I took clothes shopping (¬‿¬)

Matsukawa: Who is she

Matsukawa: I would like to thank not only God but Jesus

Matsukawa: Who knew Oikawa would look so good in a skirt

Oikawa:( ˘ ³˘)♡

Iwaizumi: You look really good, Oikawa. You both do.

Oikawa: a genuine compliment from Iwa-Chan!!!! ( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡

Iwaizumi: Usually, I'd take it back, but you actually look really good, so I’m not going to.

Hanamaki: i think u killed him  
   
-

Everyday for lunch, the four hiked up to the the rooftop. It was a nice and quiet place to eat, but more importantly, it was away from all Oikawa’s fan girls.

"So, how was everyone's day?" Oikawa said brightly, attaching himself to the person closest to him, which happened to be Iwaizumi.

"Horrible," Hanamaki answered  
Matsukawa immediately put down his lunch and opened his arms for Hanamaki, who instantly fell into them.

"Why are you having a bad day?" Matsukawa asked while running his hand up and down Hanamaki arm.

"Some kid threw a balled up piece of paper at me with the word "tranny" written on it," Hanamaki explained

Matsukawa tensed. "Who?" he gritted out, trying to control his anger

“Just some dickhead who's not worth the effort."

"I'm sorry that happened, Takahiro," Iwaizumi said, frowning.

"Tell me if it happens again, okay?" Matsukawa tightened his hold on Hanamaki.

"I just wanna take a nap, Issei." Hanamaki snuggled into Matsukawa's chest

"Yea, of course," Matsukawa said, not hesitating to pull Hanamaki close.

-

Hanamaki walked out of the gym to see only Iwaizumi waiting for him.  
"I know Oikawa's at physical therapy but where's Matsukawa?" Hanamaki asked

"Doctors appointment,” Iwaizumi explained. "Sorry to disappoint, but it's just me walking you home."

"You never disappoint." Hanamaki smirked throwing an arm around Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

Iwaizumi looked at him and lovingly rolled his eyes.

"Hey, Hajime, wanna give me a piggy back ride?" Hanamaki  
suggested, sensing Iwaizumi’s good mood. 

"Only because you asked so nicely," Iwaizumi said, kneeling down.

Hanamaki hopped on, holding on tightly to Iwaizumi. It was moments like this where Hanamaki was reminded of how deeply in love he was with his best friends.

"Onward, my noble steed!" Hanamaki called.

"You're pushing it. I will drop you,”Iwaizumi warned, but he gave a quiet chuckle.

"Awww, but you love me!" Hanamaki pointed out.

"Yeah, I can't deny that," Iwaizumi agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS TOOK SO LLONG  
> dont qoute me on this but chap 4 shoudnt take as long its already written for the most part it just needs to be edited and tweaked  
> once again shoutout to dakota for being my beta ily  
> u can find me on tumblr @happytreasuree


	4. Comfort

Hanamaki : tooru are you playing in the practice match 

Oikawa : i think ill be coming in at the very end 

Matsukawa : Here come dat boi oh shit what up 

Hanamaki : nice meme usage mattsun 

Iwaizumi: Don’t push yourself. Your knee is still healing.

Oikawa : yes mom (๑ ̄⌓ ̄๑)  
-

Matsukawa looked over to Oikawa, who was passed out with his head in Hanamaki’s lap. 

"Do you think he stayed up too late again?" Matsukawa asked, taking a bite of his lunch. 

"Yes, and now he's probably ruined his appetite from not eating lunch,” Iwaizumi grumbled. 

Matsukawa glanced over to Hanamaki. "You've been awfully quiet today." 

Hanamaki sighed. "Okay, so me and Tooru planned to tell you guys at lunch today, but he just kinda fell asleep once he got to the roof," 

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. “Okay, well, what were you gonna tell us?" 

Hanamaki avoided eye contact and ran his hands through Oikawa’s hair. "Um, me and Tooru started dating like two days ago." 

"Wait really?" Matsukawa asked, raising his eyebrows. 

"Yeah," Hanamaki confirmed

"I'm happy for you guys,” Iwaizumi congratulated.

"Yeah, congrats," Matsukawa added.  
-

Iwaizumi : I didn't think Karasuno’s oddball duo would be that good. They’ll be a big competitor this year

Hanamaki : i dont think anyone was expecting it

Oikawa : ye I have a lot to work on and some catching up to do tobio-chans setting may even be better then mine. 

Iwaizumi : Okay, first of all, you just got cleared to play; you still need to take it easy. Matsukawa : Don't put yourself down Tooru you're one of the best setters in the prefecture 

Oikawa : ill be fine! i dont wanna fall behind right 

Hanamaki : tooru,,

Oikawa : anyway! the interhigh-preliminaries are gonna be here before we know it! i wanna get stronger and take tobio-Chan on setter to setter!

Iwaizumi : Tooru you don't win by yourself- don't forget that again.

Oikawa : i know i know  
-

It was their day off. Matsukawa was visiting family a town over and Oikawa was taking the day to catch up on sleep. It was just Hanamaki and Iwaizumi hanging out. They decided to entertain themselves with some Mario kart. 

Hanamaki gasped. "You fucker! Did you really just fling a red shell at me?”

"All's fair in love and war,” Iwaizumi teased, racing ahead of Hanamaki. 

"Preferably love." Hanamaki took advantage of Iwaizumi being flustered at his statement and raced ahead. 

"Yes!" Hanamaki cheered, zooming across the finish line in first place. 

"You cheater!" 

"All's fair in love and war," Hanamaki quoted back at him. "Wanna go for another round?" Hanamaki absentmindedly rubbed at his sore shoulders. 

"How long have you had your binder on?" Iwaizumi questioned. 

"Like, 6 maybe 7 hours?" Hanamaki mumbled. 

"You really should take it off." 

"It's fine. Besides, I don't have a bra or a different shirt,” Hanamaki reasoned. He really didn't want to take his binder off; his dysphoria had been acting up the past few days. 

"I can give you one of my hoodies?"

Hanamaki hesitated, but finally gave in. "Okay, fine." 

Iwaizumi dashed up the stairs, returning a few minutes later with an oversized hoodie. Hanamaki took it wordlessly, trudging to the bathroom. He tugged off his binder and pulled on Iwaizumi’s hoodie, refusing to look in the mirror. 

"Are you okay?" Iwaizumi asked as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom. 

"Yeah it's just one of the days, yah know?" Hanamaki explained. 

Iwaizumi nodded in understanding and opened his arms to offer a hug. Hanamaki took him up on his offer.  
-

Hanamaki : yo so how much do you think a uterus sells for on the black market 

Iwaizumi : Period?

Hanamaki : yea:/

Hanamaki : it feels like wolverine has just planted an upper cut on my lower stomach 

Matsukawa : Ohh good one keep it going 

Hanamaki : it feels like someone was using my uterus as a dart board but instead of darts they threw machetes

Matsukawa : Holy shit

Oikawa : you want me to stop by the grocery store I can bring smthin over (◕^◕) 

Hanamaki : yes pls  
-  
"IwaChan!" Oikawa squealed, sprawling over Iwaizumi’s shoulders, who was sitting on the edge of his bed. "Whatta ya doin’?" 

"I'm texting Makki the homework he missed yesterday. It must've been really bad this month for him to be missing school." 

"Yea, I went over there and he was throwing up. Poor Takahiro." Oikawa frowned. 

"Yeah, but I'll think he'll be back tomorrow." Iwaizumi paused. "Hey, Tooru, can you go downstairs and get some water and snacks? We need to actually start studying.” 

Oikawa rolled out of the bed, groaning. "Fine, but only because I'm feeling really charitable today!" 

"No, it's only because you’re hungry, too," Iwaizumi deadpanned without looking up from the worksheet he'd pulled out. 

"I’ll admit, you got me there." 

Oikawa started down the stairs. On the last few steps he stumbled, his bad knee locking up and sending him tumbling to the ground into a heap. Oikawa let out a yell. He quickly sat up. He’d taken the brunt of the fall with his hands, but his knee had hit the ground hard. He heard Iwaizumi rushing down the hall. 

"What's wrong?! I heard you yelp!" Iwaizumi said, coming down the stairs. 

"I didn't yelp!" Oikawa protested

"That's beside the point, Tooru. What happened?"

"I'm not sure. My knee kinda locked up and I fell." 

Iwaizumi made his way down the stairs and wordlessly and picked up Oikawa before depositing him on a nearby couch. 

"You stay there; I'm gonna get some ice,” Iwaizumi commanded.

"But Iwa-Chan,”

"No ‘buts’." 

Oikawa wiggled his eyebrows. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes before going to get the ice. He came back moments later and pressed an ice pack to Oikawa’s knee. He looked up at Oikawa and made eye contact. He was so close, close enough to kiss him. Iwaizumi could just lean in a little and- no. He couldn't do that to Hanamaki.  
-

Hanamaki hadn't had it easy with school bathrooms, uniforms, and sports teams in the past; usually, he was forced to go into the girl's bathroom and wear the girl's uniform and play on the girls team, but Aoba Johsai had been pretty good about it. He had talked to the principal about his situation before his first year started. It turned out she had a transgender cousin. She had been far more supportive than his junior high school and agreed to let him wear the male uniform and use the male restrooms and even play on the boy’s volleyball team.  
Unfortunately, just because the Principal agreed to him presenting as a boy didn’t mean everyone else did. One kid in particular, Kobayashi, had been messing with him. Throwing balled up papers at his head, writing slurs and his birth name on his desk and harassing him in the bathroom were the most common. Luckily, he'd been able to keep Matsukawa from seeing most of it. He really didn't want Matsukawa to make a big deal out of it; he could tolerate mindless bullying.  
Although Kobayashi had been giving him a particularly hard time today, Hanamaki tried to ignore him, but even he had a breaking point. He and Matsukawa were on their way to lunch on the roof when he had to go to the bathroom. He told Matsukawa not to wait for him before running off to the bathroom.  
Hanamaki was pretty quick. He really didn't want to get cornered in the bathrooms by some asshole, so he was usually in and out in a minute or so. He finished up drying his hands and headed towards the door to exit, only to find Kobayashi blocking it. 

"Hello, Misaki," Kobayashi taunted. 

Hanamaki gritted his teeth at the sound of his birth name. "Kobayashi-kun, move. I need to get out." He kept a blank face but he was actually terrified. He knew Kobayashi was a bully, but he didn't know what else he was capable of. 

"You really shouldn't be in here. This is the boy’s restroom." 

"Well, it's a good thing I'm a boy then. Now, will you please let me go?" Hanamaki asked, trying his hardest not to get angry. 

"Has anyone ever tried to beat you into being normal? I hear it works great," Kobayashi said advancing forward. He had more than a few inches and fifty pounds on Hanamaki. 

"Yeah, is that what your dad did to you? Oh, so that's why you're so fucking pissy,” Hanamaki sneered. Okay, so, maybe Hanamaki shouldn't have said that. It was a horrible thing to say, honestly but he was so mad, and this dickhead was testing his nerves. 

"Oh you stupid fucking bitch, you’re gonna get it," Kobayashi said, raising his fist. 

Hanamaki’s eyes widened. He felt Kobayashi’s fist connect with his face right under his eye. Well, that was definitely going to bruise. Hanamaki fell backwards hitting his head on the sink, and everything went dizzy. He curled into himself on the floor, but apparently a bruised eye wasn't enough. He didn't see Kobayashi rear back his leg and kick him in the ribs, but he sure as hell felt it. He let out a sob when Kobayashi’s foot connected with stomach again and again. Kobayashi got ready to kick another time when the door swung open. 

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN." Hanamaki recognized the voice. It was Matsukawa, or at least Hanamaki thought it was. He felt horrible; his head was spinning and he couldn't breathe, and fuck, Kobayashi threw one hell of a punch.  
-

When he woke up, he was in the nurse's room. He blinked a few times, though it hurt to move his right eye. He looked to his side and saw Matsukawa, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa, all sitting in chairs next to his bed. 

"He's up!" Iwaizumi said, gaining the attention of Matsukawa and Oikawa. 

"Takahiro! Oh my god, I was so scared; you hit your head." Relief flooded into Matsukawa's eyes. Hanamaki noticed he had a split lip. 

"And a black eye, too, I'm guessing? Maybe some bruised ribs?" Hanamaki said, trying to diffuse the tension. 

Matsukawa hung his head. “I'm sorry I wasn't there, Takahiro." 

"It's fine, Issei, don't blame yourself. I should be thanking you for saving me." 

"More like you should be thanking Matsukawa’s textbooks," Iwaizumi corrected. 

"What? I don't really remember what happened after Issei stormed in,” Hanamaki explained. 

"Oh well, I kinda just hit him with my book bag. You guys are always teasing for carrying around all my textbooks at once, but I told you guys carrying aro-" 

"Wait," Hanamaki interrupted in between chuckles, "you hit him with your book bag?" 

"Don't laugh! I wasn't gonna go in punching! That guy is fucking huge. I hit him with a Fifty-pound backpack in the head, and he got back up in, like, two seconds and gave me this." Matsukawa said gesturing to his lip. 

"Wait, how'd you get out of there with only a split lip?" Hanamaki questioned. 

"You see, that's when the teachers came rushing in and saved me from trying to fist fight Kobayashi. Good news: he’s getting suspended." 

"Wow, my knight in shining armor,” Hanamaki said, taking Matsukawa's hand and squeezing it. 

Hanamaki looked at Iwaizumi and Oikawa, who still looked upset. "It's okay guys; seriously, I’m fine." 

"I was so fucking scared when I heard what happened, and the teacher told us he's been bullying you lately. You should've told us he'd been messing with you," Iwaizumi said, placing a hand on Hanamaki’s thigh. He could feel how much Iwaizumi’s hand was shaking. 

"I'm sorry. I promise I will next time, and I'll be okay now. I got you guys by my side." Hanamaki gave them all a sincere, small smile 

"We'll always be here, Takahiro," Iwaizumi reassured. 

Hanamaki looked down to Oikawa, who had been uncharacteristically quiet. Oikawa hastily tried to wipe away the constant stream of tears falling down his face.  
"I'm scared 'hiro," Oikawa whispered.

"It's okay, so am I," Hanamaki responded.  
-  
Hanamaki knew he was lucky, he escaped the ordeal with a very minor concussion, an abundance of bruises and a black eye. He’d be cleared to play in a couple of weeks, he tried not to think about what could’ve happened. They all slept over at Hanamaki’s that night, and Oikawa clung to him the whole time. Hanamaki tried to ignore the new scars he saw on Oikawa’s hips and stomach; He'd confront Oikawa when they were alone. The next day Iwaizumi and Matsukawa had left around noon, both needing to get home, but Oikawa refused to go. 

Oikawa curled tighter on to Hanamaki, who laid on the bed next to him. "Why'd he do it 'hiro? Why’d he hit you?" Oikawa cried into Hanamaki’s shirt. 

"He said he was gonna beat me into being normal," Hanamaki whispered. 

Oikawa started openly sobbing. "I'm so scared. I knew things like this happened, but I never thought I'd have to face the reality of it. I'm so fucking scared 'hiro. What if they try to kill you next time,’hiro? What if you die?" 

"Shhhhh, it's okay, Tooru. I’m okay," Hanamaki said, running circles into Oikawa’s back. 

Oikawa pulled his face out of Hanamaki’s shirt. "No! Why are you comforting me? You’re the one who got attacked! how are you so calm?" 

"I'm still in shock. I'll probably be a mess by tomorrow," Hanamaki explained.

"I'll stay with you." Oikawa hugged Hanamaki tight.

"You've been hurting yourself again, Tooru, haven't you?"

"This isn't about me right now!" Oikawa protested. 

"It can be about me tomorrow when I'm a mess and having panic attacks," Hanamaki promised. He felt oddly empty at the moment, but he knew once he fully processed what happened he'd be practically inconsolable. 

"Don't tell Haji. Promise me, please," Oikawa begged.

"You know he always finds out," Hanamaki reminded him.

"Please, I've done enough to him." 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi didn't talk about it much, but from what Matsukawa and Hanamaki gathered, Iwaizumi had found Oikawa in a bathroom with bloodied wrists struggling to open a pill bottle in their last year of junior high. Ever since then, Iwaizumi’s had been extremely protective of Oikawa and on top of his self-harming. 

"I won't tell him myself, but, Tooru, why? Why are you doing it again?" 

"I did it last week. I was two months clean, but it was late, and I let my thoughts run wild. I hate this; I hate being like this. I feel disgusting and gross and sometimes I think I’d be better off dead.”  
“No, no Tooru, please don't say that. I need you; I love you so much. Hajime and Issei need you, we all need you." Hanamaki placed a kiss on Oikawa’s head, holding him tighter. 

"How'd you ever stop self harming, 'hiro?" Oikawa suddenly asked. 

"It was hard. So fucking hard, Tooru. It hurt my parents so much- that look on my Mom’s face killed me. When I met you guys, I tried even harder to stop because you all cared so much, and I had people who loved me," Hanamaki explained. 

Oikawa sniffled. "Why isn't that good enough for me?"

"Tooru, listen, you're still here fighting every day, and I couldn't be more proud of you."  
\- 

Hanamaki : im messaging u privately bc i dont want to put this in the group chat but i needed to thank you again for being there for me the past few days.

Oikawa : its no problem!! ill always be here 'hiro

Hanamaki : seriously i was crying half the time and I had like 5 panic attacks i couldn't ask for a better partner. 

Oikawa : ill be there whenever you need me! I love you so much 

Hanamaki : I love you too  
-

Matsukawa : The interhigh preliminaries are in two weeks, are you guys ready 

Iwaizumi : I'll be honest, I'm nervous.

Hanamaki : ive only been back to practice for a week but im excited 

Oikawa : IM SO READY!!!!!!! IM ALWAYS READY FOR VOLLEYBALL 

Iwaizumi : Promise you won’t overdo it these next two weeks?

Oikawa : yes I learned my lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM A SAD PERSON AND MUST PROJECT MY SADNESS ONTO OTHERS
> 
> anyway chap 5 should be out next weekend
> 
> ty again to kota for being my beta ily
> 
> my tumblr is happytreasuree
> 
> SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES IM POSTING THIS AT 2:30AM LMAO


	5. At Ease

Oikawa : IM SO PROUD OF MY TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U GUYS READY TO BEAT KARUSANO TMMR??????

Hanamaki : YECK HEAH

Iwaizumi : The team has really come together.

Matsukawa : you're a good captain Tooru 

Oikawa : AWH MATTSUN( ̆ 3 ̆) ♡  
-  
Saying beating Karasuno was hard was an understatement. Seijou fought tooth and nail for victory, and it was all worth it; the excretion, the pain, the sweat, the tears. This meant had a chance to go to nationals. Matsukawa had abandoned his usual sleepy look for a wide smile. They were all giddy, Oikawa especially; they'd won, after all. The team made their way to the bus, and Matsukawa watched as Oikawa skin ipped along hanging off of Iwaizumi. 

"Iwa-Chan, catch me!" Oikawa said as he hopped into Iwaizumi’s arms. Iwaizumi stumbled slightly but righted himself. 

"Dumbass, I could've dropped you!" he said, but the words lacked their usual bite. Iwaizumi was even grinning down at Oikawa. 

Matsukawa smiled, they were so cute together. He always thought that Oikawa and Iwaizumi would get together. Sometimes it really seemed like they were in love.  
The bus ride back was filled with the lingering feeling of pride and victory.  
Hanamaki laid his head on Matsukawa's shoulder and slept, which was incredibly cute. He turned and looked at Oikawa, who was clinging to Iwaizumi in his sleep. Iwaizumi was combing his hands through Oikawa's hair lazily.  
Matsukawa watched the pair with a small smile on his face. Oikawa shifted slightly in his sleep, his shirt shifted up revealing a sliver of pale skin marked with red, barely healed scars. Matsukawa frowned and stiffened in his seat. The joy and pride of their victory instantly left him. He thought Oikawa had been doing better. He didn't want to cause a scene, and if Iwaizumi saw he'd definitely cause one. He'd tell Hanamaki after the tournament, hopefully he'd be able to make sure Oikawa was okay. Matsukawa tried to close his eyes and sleep, definitely feeling less giddy. 

-  
Saying losing to Shiratorizawa was hard was an understatement. They gave everything they had, and when they came up empty-handed, it crushed them. Oikawa put on a brave smile for his team. 

"You all did so well! All of you fought so hard for everything. I couldn't ask for anything more from a team. All we can do is train and become stronger. Next time, we'll be beat them!" Oikawa said, finishing his speech.

The bus ride home was silent. They all felt the heavy weight of disappointment. Matsukawa sat down next to Iwaizumi. They were across from Oikawa and Hanamaki. He could see Hanamaki holding Oikawa's hand, trying to comfort him, but Oikawa’s gaze was locked on the window refusing to meet anyone's eyes.  
Matsukawa took out his phone and sent a text to Hanamaki. 

Matsukawa : is Tooru ok? I saw his stomach

Hanamaki : yeah ive talked to him about it,, i dont know if hell be ok tonight tho 

Matsukawa : are you gonna sleep over at his house

Hanamaki : i dont think hell let me i think he wants to be alone but ill have Iwa check in on him regardless,,, I dont want to be alone tho. can you please sleep over

Matsukawa : yeah no problem

Hanamaki : thanks issei  
-

They all walked home together, as they lived in the same neighborhood. Oikawa and Iwaizumi lived across from each other while Hanamaki and Matsukawa lived a few streets down. 

"Call me if you need anything,’ Hanamaki whispered, releasing Oikawa from a bone-crushing hug.

"I will,” Oikawa promised. He waved goodbye as Hanamaki turned down a different street with Matsukawa.

"Tooru, can I spend the night? Your Mom is on a business trip right now so she wouldn’t mind." Hanamaki  
had asked Iwazumi to keep an eye on Oikawa, so Iwaizumi decided he might as well ask to sleep over. 

Oikawa sneered, before looking away, biting a nail. "I don’t need a babysitter." 

"I wasn’t implying you do,”

"I’d rather be alone,” Oikawa huffed.

"I won’t bother you." 

Oikawa sighed heavily. "I don't feel like arguing. I don't care what you do, but you're sleeping on the futon." 

Oikawa’s words stung; they always shared a bed. Iwaizumi bit the inside of his cheek. He'd take what he could get.  
-  
Oikawa hadn't said a word. They had both showered and gotten ready for bed, and Iwaizumi hadn't heard a peep out of his usually talkative best friend. When Iwaizumi looked up to Oikawa from where he laid on the futon, Oikawa simply started ahead, refusing to make eye contact.

Oikawa finally spoke a few minutes later. "Good night, Iwaizumi." He shifted, making himself more comfortable. His shirt rode up, and Iwaizumi’s breath hitched. Oikawa quickly pulled it down. 

"Tooru"

"No," Oikawa's breath was shaky. 

"What the hell do you mean ‘no’?" Iwaizumi felt horrible. He had no idea it'd gotten so bad again. What kind of friend was he? 

"I don't want to do this right now," Oikawa said, louder.

"Tooru, please, I'm sorry I had no idea," Iwaizumi apologized. 

"You weren't supposed to have any idea!" Oikawa yelled, pulling the covers over his head and pulling his knees to his chest. 

"Why'd you do it, Tooru?" Iwaizumi tried to place a hand on Oikawa shaking body, but he moved away. Oikawa pulled at his hair.

"Because I fucking can! You said you wouldn't bother me!" 

"Please don't shut me out! I thought everything was going better! What happened?" Iwaizumi pleaded. He could hear Oikawa crying under the covers and he desperately wanted to comfort him. 

"Everything fucking happened! I fucking hate all this! I hate this fucking body! I hate constantly feeling like I'm gross and disgusting, and I'm scared, and I just hate being a boy!" Oikawa went dead silent after his rant, freezing up. 

Iwaizumi mind was racing. What the hell was Oikawa talking about? 

"Tooru, what do you mean you don't like being a boy?" Oikawa said nothing as he sat up and rushed out of the room and down the hall. 

"Tooru, what the hell?" Iwaizumi said, stumbling to follow him. He turned down the hall to see Oikawa slam the bathroom door shut behind him. Iwaizumi approached the door and tried the knob. It was locked. He frowned and placed his forehead on the door. 

"Tooru? Please?" He felt helpless standing behind a locked door unable to do anything. 

Oikawa only responded with a sob. 

-  
Hanamaki was nearly asleep when his phone started ringing. He groaned. Shifting Matsukawa's arm off of him, he felt around for his phone on his night stand. He answered it without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?" Hanamaki grumbled. He recognized Iwaizumi’s voice immediately. 

"Takahiro, please come over now. I can't get Oikawa to stop crying, please he said something about not being a boy? He locked himself in the bathroom- just get over here please." 

"Oh my god, yeah, hold on, I'm on my way." Matsukawa shifted next to him. 

"Okay, thank you so much. The front door will be unlocked." With that, Hanamaki hung up and quickly got out of bed.

Matsukawa rubbed his eyes. "Whats going on?"

"I don't know, but Tooru needs us. Hurry up, let's go!" 

Spurred on by the urgency in Hanamaki’s voice, Matsukawa hurriedly got up and threw on a shirt. Hanamaki pulled on a sweatshirt before creeping down the stairs. He put a finger to his lips and motioned for Matsukawa to follow. They slowly tip toed down the stairs. Once to the first floor, Hanamaki paused, grabbing a pair of shoes and slipping them on. Matsukawa followed suit. 

"We're gonna go out the window. Be super quiet; we can't wake my parents," Hanamaki whispered. 

Matsukawa nodded. Hanamaki opened the window and crawled out, not looking to see if Matsukawa followed. Hanamaki had already taken off down the street when Matsukawa's feet firmly hit the ground that was a few feet below. Speed walking down the road, Hanamaki vaguely registered Matsukawa jogging to match his pace before he spoke.

"What happened? Did Tooru call you?" 

Hanamaki barely heard the question with his mind racing as fast as it was. Iwaizumi didn't give him much information, but from the tone of his voice Hanamaki could tell it was urgent. 

"No, Hajime did." Hanamaki crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously. He hadn't even thought to put on his binder. He just wanted to get to Oikawa. 

Hanamaki was thankful that Matsukawa wordlessly followed him the rest the way. When Oikawa's house came into sight, Hanamaki picked up his pace. He threw open the door, trusting Matsukawa to close it behind him, and rushed up the stairs.  
Hanamaki spotted Iwaizumi sitting outside the bathroom door with his head in his hands. Hanamaki rushed forward and knocked on the door. 

"Tooru, please let me in?" Hanamaki pleaded.

"I'm so stupid! I couldn't keep my mouth shut," Oikawa replied.

"Tooru, I can promise we still love you, no matter what, okay?" Hanamaki reassured.

"I'm not ready. I don't want to tell them, but now I have to explain."

"It'll be ok. I'll be right by your side, I promise."

“I can’t do it, ‘Hiro; I can’t be near him right now.” 

Hanamaki heard Iwaizumi’s breath hitch. Hanamaki looked down at him and felt his heart drop into his stomach. Iwaizumi had his hand over his mouth trying to muffle himself as tears rolled down his cheeks. Hanamaki looked behind him to Matsukawa, who simply stood there looking as hopeless as Hanamaki felt. He turned back to the door and knocked a little more forcefully. 

“Tooru, please open up the door. Please, I’m begging you.” Hanamaki’s voice cracked as he began crying. 

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa suddenly apologized. 

“No, no, no, no, Tooru, don’t apologize. Why are you apologizing? Tooru, please don’t hurt yourself, please,” Hanamaki pleaded through the door, 

“Please don’t hate me.” 

“I can promise I will never ever hate you, but don’t think I won't have Issei or Hajime break down this fucking door,” he threatened. 

“No! Okay, okay, I’ll open the door! Just please don’t break it down.” 

Oikawa peeked out from behind the door, his eyes red and puffy. He said nothing as he made his way back to his bedroom. Hanamaki looked back and making sure the other two were following him.  
He sat down on the edge of the bed, and Oikawa immediately but his head in Hanamaki’s lap. Matsukawa and Iwaizumi took the floor. Hanamaki rubbed Oikawa’s back and waited for him to speak. 

Oikawa took a few deep breaths before calming down. "I'm-" Oikawa paused and took another breath.  
"I'm genderfluid. I still want to be Tooru, though, but I don't like being a boy sometimes. Sometimes I like being a girl and being called a girl- and then sometimes I don't want to be either; sometimes I just wanna be a person, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I'm just really scared and-" Oikawa cut himself off again when he started to cry. He brought up his hands to hide his face. 

Iwaizumi spoke first. “"Tooru, 'Hiro was right, we still love you. You don't have to be scared to tell us this." 

"We'll support you no matter what. Just tell us what kinda day it is and we'll do our best to refer to you as the gender you want," Matsukawa consoled. 

"I don't want to come out though, so just refer to me as a boy in public regardless," Oikawa mumbled, looking through his hands.  
Iwaizumi and Matsukawa both nodded in understanding.

"Just please tell us when you're hurting, okay? We want to help," Iwaizumi begged.

"I'll try."

-

The next few weeks slipped by in a blur. Despite changes in his life, Matsukawa felt the same. He still was hopelessly in love with all his friends, and Oikawa was still Oikawa. They'd all taken to asking Oikawa, "What kinda day is it?", to find out what gender they preferred that day. Oikawa started to smile more often in the past few weeks. It'd seemed like a weight has been lifted off their little group. 

Matsukawa : Yooo what kinda day is it

Oikawa : girl :P

Matsukawa : You good?

Oikawa : just give me a hug when i get to school

Hanamaki : EVERYBODY HUG TOORU WHEN SHE GETS TO SCHOOL

Iwaizumi : I'm waiting outside, Tooru, hurry up. 

Oikawa : will I get a hug( づ¯ 3 ¯) づ 

Iwaizumi : Yes.

Oikawa : on my way!!!! 

 

=  
"Hello, HangerSan!" Matsukawa said when Oikawa arrived on the roof. 

"I firmly believe you're all just jealous I can pass as half-foreign!" Oikawa sniffed. 

Iwaizumi snorted. "It's because you're so pale." 

"Well not everyone refuses to wear sunscreen and ignore their skin's health like you Iwa-Chan." Oikawa said faking a sweet tone, head tiled high as royalty. “Even though your tan is gorgeous,” 

Iwaizumi snorted, “You wouldn’t tan regardless.”

"It's okay, Tooru, we can suffer being pale together." Hanamaki empathized 

"My hero!" Oikawa said dramatically, reaching towards Hanamaki. 

Matsukawa laughed. "There goes my 'Hiro watch him as he goes." 

The four of them broke out into laughter. Matsukawa felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter. He was so unbelievably in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO IM TRASH SOORY THIS IS SO LATE 
> 
> my tumblr-happytreasuree
> 
> at least next chapter u wont have to deal w this slow burn anymore
> 
> ahhhh


	6. A gain and a loss

Iwaizumi: makki please stop sending various memes into the group chat 

Hanamaki: [hanamaki renamed the group "dicks out for harambe"]

Hanamaki: [one attached image]

 Hanamaki: you can't stop meme 

Iwaizumi: please i don't even understand half of them 

Hanamaki: what are u gonna do about it

Hanamaki: spank me?

Oikawa: if ur gonna hit it, hit it until it breaks 

Matsukawa: TOORU NO

Hanamaki: i still can't believe u said that's ur favorite quote

- 

"You’re gonna run yourself ragged dumbass!" Iwaizumi chided.

"I'm fine Iwa-chan, I just wanna be ready for the spring high playoffs." Oikawa reasoned.

Hanamaki drowned out the rest of the conversation. The romantic tension between the four of them was unbearable. Hanamaki was just about to lose his mind. He doubted he could stand the hardcore four way pinning for much longer. Maybe he should just say his feelings and get it over with. The worse that could happen was that they said no, even then he'd still have Oikawa. He decided he'd just say it, get it over with, like ripping off a band-aid. Hanamaki began mentally planning when he'd reveal his crush to Matsukawa and Iwaizumi when someone tried to get his attention.

"Right Taka?" Iwaizumi asked, trying to get his approval on something in the conversation Hanamaki wasn't paying attention to. 

'Taka' it was a silly nickname that Iwaizumi had taken to calling him. A stupid silly nickname that made Hanamaki feel like his heart was beating out of his chest. 

"Taka, are you okay?" Iwaizumi asked, a little concerned.

Hanamaki met Iwaizumi's eyes. Hanamaki opened his mouth to ask what the they were talking about but closed it before he spoke. Ah fuck it might as well get it over and done with, right?  he thought.

"I'm in love with the three of you." Hanamaki stated, staring Iwaizumi straight in the eye. His cheeks were on fire. Okay, so maybe he could have worded that a little more eloquently.

Iwaizumi’s mouth dropped open and he gaped at Hanamaki. Hanamaki turned his view to Oikawa, who was sitting next to Iwaizumi, wide-eyed.  
 

"Me too." Oikawa said after regaining their composure. "Me and 'Hiro both love you guys and we get it if you guys don't feel the same way but-" 

"Did two of my crushes really just confess their love for me or am I dreaming?" Matsukawa interrupted.

"You like us back?" Oikawa gasped.

"Yea I thought I was being pretty obvious, but I didn't wanna intrude on your relationship." 

Hanamaki turned tentatively to Iwaizumi.

"Hajime?" 

Iwaizumi was still staring at Hanamaki. He blinked a few times, seemingly clearing his head.

"Sorry I was just processing, but yes, I definitely like you guys back, but I didn't-"

"HAJIME!!" Oikawa screeched, practically tackling Iwaizumi to the ground and hugging him.

"Ah! what was that for?"

"I'm just really happy," they explained, "I've been pining since junior high." 

Hanamaki smirked at his now boyfriends. Maybe falling in love with three people wasn't such a bad thing after all. 

-

Surprisingly their relationship didn't drastically change. There was just a lot more kissing and cuddling, especially from Oikawa, who liked to cling to the nearest warm body like a kola. Despite all his complaining Iwaizumi didn't really mind. He enjoyed their presence. Unfortunately, they had started their relationship towards the end of the year. Which meant testing was coming up, and the Spring High Prefecture tournament. Iwaizumi got increasingly more protective of Oikawa the more the tournament approached. He couldn't help it, he worried about Oikawa hurting himself again. Thankfully Hanamaki and Matsukawa also kept an eye on Oikawa which lessened Iwaizumi's worries.

-  
It was the day before the tournament and they'd all decided to sleep over at Oikawa's house. Despite claiming, he wasn't tired Matsukawa passed out at 11pm and Hanamaki followed soon after. They were curled up together in a tangle of limbs. Iwaizumi grinned fondly at them. 

"They're adorable aren't they? Not as cute as me though!" Oikawa whispered.

Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa who was propped up on his elbows smirking at him. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes before gathering Oikawa in his arms.

"Hush, you should be sleeping," Iwaizumi replied.

"You’re still up!" Oikawa pointed out.

Iwaizumi started fake snoring, "I can't hear you, I'm sleeping." he said before continuing with the faux snoring.

It was Oikawa's turn to roll his eyes, but Iwaizumi was right, Oikawa needed his sleep. So Iwaizumi watched as Oikawa made himself comfortable in his arms and slowly drifted off.

-

The ball travels back over the net, speeding towards the ground. Luckily Hanamaki sprawls and saves it, but it's going out of bounds. No, Oikawa refuses to let it end like this, he turns and points a finger at Iwaizumi, who needs to further explanation. There's only one person he trusts enough to hit this set. Oikawa runs and leaps for the ball, twisting his body and executing a perfect toss. 

He barely feels his body crash into the table with all the adrenaline pumping through his body. However, he does feel, his bad knee bang into the ground when he slips on the table cloth getting back up. He ignores the pain and scrambles off the ground and runs onto the court. His heart skips a beat when Karasuno's captain shanks the ball, his heart sinks when baldie receives it and their ace returns it. He focuses on the rally He watches Kyoutani's amazing save, Kindachi's block, and Refreshing-kun get nailed in the face. This is it, the odd ball duo is going to run their god-like quick. Oikawa's ready, he won't let it end like this. He anticipates Shrimpy's plan and begins to move his feet, but he ball tips off the blockers fingers changing course. Oikawa sticks out his arms and feels the ball brush against them, then he hears the ball hit the floor with a resounding smack and knows it’s all over. 

Oikawa gathers his defeated team to line up and say their thanks. Iwaizumi cries and Oikawa won't have that, not now. He smacks him on the back reassuringly, his boyfriends follow suit.   
-  
Everyone sheds tears on the bus. Well, not everyone. Iwaizumi watches Oikawa as he stares straight ahead, slumped in his seat. 

He observes as Oikawa doesn't say a word as they all decide to spend the night at Hanamaki's. It's unsettling, he feels like Oikawa should be crying or throwing a fit. Iwaizumi sure as hell feels like throwing one. 

They take turns taking showers. Oikawa is last, he wordlessly gets up. He grabs a towel before and begins to turn the doorknob before he pauses.   
"'Hiro, come with me?" 

Hanamaki looks puzzled before asking, "Huh? Why?" 

Oikawa stares straight ahead.  
"I'm afraid I'll hurt myself." He admits. With that he walks out the door and Hanamaki rushes to follow. 

Iwaizumi's gut twists in both sadness and pride. Sadness because Oikawa still feels the need to hurt himself, pride because, a few weeks ago Oikawa would've walked out of the door without saying a word. 

-

Oikawa: ushiwaka-chan spoke to me after the game yesterday

Hanamaki: yikes™ 

Iwaizumi: What did he say?

Oikawa: that i chose the wrong path and i let my pride get in the way. 

Matsukawa: shit wtf

Hanamaki: wth??? what'd u say

Oikawa: i told him to never forget my worthless pride

Oikawa: i think karasuno is gonna beat shiratorizawa

Iwaizumi: really what makes you say that? 

Oikawa: when crows flock they might even kill a huge white eagle

-

The weeks dragged by slowly as they got over their pain. They all accepted that it was their last volleyball high school game and it was a good one, they gave everything they had. 

Today though, Matsukawa and his boyfriends were going to see a movie and probably walk around the mall for a while.  

Iwaizumi and he were on their way over to pick up Oikawa and Hanamaki. Matsukawa reached down and laced his and Iwaizumi’s hands together, swinging their arms back and forth.  They were dressed in their usual street attire; sneakers, jeans and T-shirts. 

They turned down Hanamaki's street a few minutes later. Matsukawa walked up to the door and rang the door bell. Hanamaki rushed down the stairs and flung open the door. He was dressed in black high-waisted shorts and a crop top. 

"Tooru's upstairs, she'll be down in a few minutes." Hanamaki explained.  
    
"Did Tooru do your make up?" Matsukawa asked 

"Yea, how'd you know?" 

"Because it's so good." Matsukawa stated. 

Hanamaki laughed, "True, I could never wing my eyeliner this well.”

Matsukawa glanced up when he heard the stairs creak. Oikawa was making her way down, wearing a dark floral skirt and the 'baby girl' crop top. Surprisingly she also had her glasses on, he'd only ever seen Oikawa with her glasses on rare occasions. Matsukawa whistled, she looked stunning. Oikawa gave a tentative smile.

"Ready, Baby girl?" Iwaizumi smirked.

"Huh? Baby girl?!" Oikawa squeaked, face on fire. 

"To be fair it is on your shirt," Matsukawa >

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SOORY THIS IS SO LATE AND IM TRASHHHHHHHHHH  
> BUT ITS MY BIRTHDAY SO HERES A PRESENT FOR U GUYSSSSSS  
> anyway come scream at me on tumblr @ happytreasuree
> 
> also! ill be posting more often god bless


	7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder

Oikawa: i can't believe graduation is in a month, i really meant what i said guys, thank you for these 3 years

Matsukawa: Don't make it sound like we're dying Tooru 

Hanamaki: ye! were not going anywhere 

Oikawa: but were all probably going to different universities! 

Iwaizumi: yea, and remember I'm gonna kick your ass when we go up against one another 

Matsukawa:  I’m going to Osaka university. Possibly majoring in business?

Hanamaki: ohhhhh very respectable. i'm thinking kyoto university. still not sure abt my major. i'm considering something psychology related 

Iwaizumi: I'm actually also considering going to Osaka! They have a good physical therapy program 

Matsukawa: niceeeeeee I hope we go to the same uni

Matsukawa: wbu Tooru? We know you got scouted by a few colleges 

Oikawa: leaning towards tokyo, good volleyball team and good astronomy program to fall back on 

Matsukawa: I still can't understand how you hate math but love physics 

Oikawa: honestly math is trash that i don't need in my life

Iwaizumi: Tooru...physics is basically math

Oikawa: how dare u insult physics like that   

-

"What's up nerds?" Matsukawa said plopping himself down on the rooftop next to the rest of the group. 

"Not my grades." Hanamaki joked.

Iwaizumi snorted but continued attentively studying the notes set in front of him. They fell into a comfortable silence. However, it wasn't long before Oikawa was up to their usual antics.

"'Hiroooooo I've had the worst day!" Oikawa complained before crawling into Hanamaki's lap. 

"Awh, what's wrong babe?" he cooed.

"I had a math test!" Oikawa cried, affronted by even the prospect.  
Iwaizumi scoffed next to Matsukawa but kept his focus on his papers.

Hanamaki gasped dramatically, "Oh poor Tooru, I can see this is clearly a horrible tragedy!" 

"Clearly!" Oikawa readily agreed. Matsukawa watched on, amused. They really were a sight to behold. Hanamaki brought a hand up to caress Oikawa's cheek and hummed in agreement to what Oikawa said. 

"You want me to kiss it better?" Hanamaki offered.

"Yes please!" Oikawa chirped.

Matsukawa was expecting a peck maybe a light brush of the lips. He wasn't expecting Oikawa to swoop down and start lazily making out with Hanamaki. He also didn't expect Hanamaki to reciprocate completely unsurprised, raising a hand to grip the back of Oikawa’s hair and lead them into a deeper kiss. Matsukawa felt heat spread across his face. 

He turned to Iwaizumi, "Are they really just gonna-"

"Don't worry they'll tire themselves out eventually." Iwaizumi interjected coolly, despite the blush on his face. 

Matsukawa started down at his rice, deciding to study it very closely. 

-

 

Hanamaki: Hey i'm thinking of telling my mom about us? i mean she's all i got and i tell her everything 

Iwaizumi: Yea, you should tell her. Better to get it off your chest 

Hanamaki: i gotta lot more than that i want off my chest 

Matsukawa: lmaooooooo. But yea what Hajime said

Oikawa: im chill w u telling her abt the relationship, i'd rather u not tell her about me not being a boy tho

Hanamaki: ofc not a problem 

Hanamaki: are u guys ever gonna tell any of your parents about us?

Matsukawa: yikes™

Oikawa: i'll probably tell my sister about everything eventually, she's super supportive and understanding, i just don't think i'm ready yet. As for my mom, she won't be ecstatic but I don't think she'd be devastated  

Iwaizumi: Yea my parents might need to take some time to warm up to it. I'll probably tell them in college. I don't think they'd kick me out or anything, they'd just be disappointed 

Matsukawa:  I'm sorry guys I don't know if I can tell my parents for a long time. both my parents, especially my mom, are supppppperrr traditional and strict. and I really can't afford college on my own if they cut me off or anything 

Hanamaki: holy shit u think they'd cut u off?

Matsukawa: I'm not sure, I wouldn't put it past them so I'm not gonna risk it

Iwaizumi: Damn Issei I'm sorry 

Matsukawa: it's all good 

Oikawa: WELL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR U ISSEI!!

-

Hanamaki laid face first on the ground groaning.

Oikawa giggled. "It's ok 'Hiro, exams are over now."

"We're free!" Matsukawa enthused.

"Yeah, but my brain is fried." Hanamaki complained.

"Oh!" Oikawa piped up, "By the way, Sato-chan invited us to a party Saturday!"

"I'm down." Hanamaki said, lifting his face from the carpet momentarily.

"Ditto." Matsukawa replied.

Iwaizumi looked skeptical, "Fine, as long as you don't get black out drunk again, Tooru."

"That was like one time!" Oikawa protested.

 

-

Okay so Oikawa didn't get blackout drunk but they definitely got close. Or at least Hanamaki thought so by the way they were leaning on Iwaizumi. 

Hanamaki turned to Matsukawa. "Yo, let's blow this popsicle stand before Tooru makes and ass of themself." 

Matsukawa took one look at at Oikawa before agreeing. 

Surprisingly Oikawa didn’t protest to leaving early and they all ended up walking to Oikawa's house, whose mom was away on business again. 

They all stumbled drunkenly into the house and began gather the proper materials to make a, as Hanamaki had suggested on the way home "bomb ass pillow fort". Once the masterpiece was complete they all clambered inside. Eventually, their conversation turned into truth or dare, because they're all still 12-year-olds.

"Tooru~" Hanamaki singsonged "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Oikawa slurred. 

"Hmmmm, ok what was your most awkward or funny sexual experience?"

Oikawa's eyes lit up and they made eye contact with Matsukawa, whose eyes widened.

"Well, usually I would say it was with one of my ex girlfriends but I gotta say-"

"You really don't." Matsukawa interjected 

Oikawa continued on despite the interruption, "Issei takes the cake." 

"Tooru you don't have to do this," Matsukawa pleaded.

"Yes they do, I'm very invested in this story now. Please continue." Hanamaki urged. 

"I second this." Iwaizumi agreed.

"Anyway so like me and Issei were making out," Oikawa began, "and I was getting on my knees to give him a blowjob, and I didn’t go slow, mind you this wasn't the first time I had done this to him, so I didn’t expect anything awkward to go down, but anyway he was like balls deep in my throat-" 

"You really have a way with words," Iwaizumi commented.

"Thank you, Iwa-chan, anyway balls deep, and Issei looks down at me and says...'she succ'"

There was a moment of silence before Iwaizumi and Hanamaki burst out laughing and Matsukawa buried his face in a nearby blanket. 

"Oh my fucking god why'd you think that be a good idea?" Hanamaki said trying to catch his breath.

"Dude, I dunno, the meme just popped into my head and I blurted it out." Matsukawa defended. 

"Wait hold up, Tooru, how'd you react?" Iwaizumi asked.

"Oh, I started straight up cackling and that went as well as you could expect."  
   
-

On a Friday night Matsukawa parents mentioned they were going to a fancy dinner in the city and spending the night in a hotel. Of course, he jumped on the opportunity to invite his boyfriends over for the night. So that's how he ended up with Oikawa's head in his lap, who had Matsukawa's dog, Lucky, curled up next to him. Matsukawa vaguely paid attention to the TV, instead listening to the quiet small talk of Iwaizumi and Hanamaki who were preparing dinner in the kitchen. 

Oikawa shifted his body to look up at Matsukawa, "I'm gonna miss you guys. I don't know how often we'll be able to see each other." 

"I feel bad that you and ‘Hiro will be alone, it’s gonna suck being away from you two." Matsukawa frowned 

"Volleyball is gonna be real intense, hopefully it'll keep me outta trouble. Although I am kinda disappointed that I’ll be going all the way to Tokyo, I’ll be really far from you guys." Oikawa replied reaching out to grab Matsukawa's hand. 

Matsukawa laced their fingers together and kissed Oikawa hand, receiving a wide grin from Oikawa. However, before he could respond again they heard Iwaizumi shout from the kitchen. 

"Oi! Taka stop trying to balance the spoons on your nose!"

-

The days quickly drifted by and the four tried to make the most out of what little time they had left together. But soon enough it was time to head off to college. Iwaizumi and Matsukawa had been lucky enough to get an apartment together. Oikawa and Hanamaki on the other hand were staying on campus. 

They were all waiting at the train station together. Oikawa was nervously chewing on a fingernail. He had a heart to heart with Iwaizumi the night before about how it was scary to be away from his best friend. He knew he need to grow up and be independent from Iwaizumi but leaving his support system behind was a frightening prospect. Oikawa’s attention was quickly brought back when Iwaizumi smacked his hand out of his mouth. 

"Taka's train will be here in five minutes." he explained.

They all had frowns on their faces when Hanamaki's train arrived at the station. "I love you"s, kisses and hugs were exchanged before Hanamaki hopped on his train. They watched him turn around, teary-eyed, to wave goodbye. 

When Iwaizumi and Matsukawa's train arrived the process was repeated. Oikawa gripped on to Iwaizumi a little longer then usual. 

"I'm gonna get better for you guys, myself too, I promise." He whispered into Iwaizumi's ear.

Iwaizumi grinned with pride, “I know you will.” He said planting one last kiss on Oikawa’s cheek.

Oikawa sat alone at the station for a few minutes before his train arrived. Iwaizumi's words to him after their loss to Karasuno were ringing in his ears.

"You're the partner I can boast about."

He was going to keep his promise, no matter what it took. He was going to make them proud.

And so he stepped on the train that was prepared to take him miles away from the ones he loved.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder after all, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this before i realized how far away tokyo is from osaka and kyoto, yikes poor Tooru
> 
> anyway i cant believe i actually finished this fic, holy shit
> 
> but this is only part one of a series 
> 
> ill be writing either a continuation of them in college or their coming out stories next, but i'll definitely write both eventually
> 
> the next story should be out soon
> 
> tumblr - happytreasuree
> 
>  
> 
> ANYWAY THANK SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR READING AND LEAVING NICE COMMENTS/KUDOS ITS THE REASON I KEEP WRITING.

**Author's Note:**

> i'll try to update as soon as possible  
> you can find me on tumblr @ Happytreasuree


End file.
